The wedding was perfect, and so was the honeymoon. Then, the years fly by, the children arrived and all of a sudden reality sets in, making you realise marriage isn’t an easy ride. While there aren’t any fool-proof recipes for a happy, long-lasting marriage, here are a few tips to make the ride a little less bumpy.
The family that plays together stays together. So, try your best to have fun to boost your marriage. A strong friendship is a good indicator and so is having a laugh together. Approaching challenges in a light-hearted manner will make a marriage more enjoyable. Couples who celebrate the good times rather than to dwell on problems always form a tighter bond.
Give and take
Although marriage is a partnership, if people feel they are giving all the time while the other just takes, then resentment can take over. This is when good communication is necessary. Just remember to be kind and put your spouse’s needs before your own. If both partners manage to do this then the relationship can survive ups and downs and stand the test of time.
Bring out the best
Make sure to give praise and motivation at all times to nurture goodwill in a relationship. Don’t assume your partner is able to read your mind. Maybe significant others can guess you are proud of them or that you admire their accomplishments, but it’s better to express love and motivation openly. Make a fuss about all the good things that happen to give your relationship a boost. Of course, none of us just have positive qualities, but focus on these rather than negative characteristics.
For a couple to be alone together all the time is not healthy. We all need friends and family in our lives and thankfully they are important in our Middle Eastern society. Here married couples can foster their relationships beyond the twosome and benefit from the support lent by their extended families. On the other hand, in-laws can be a major cause of marital disputes, so it’s best to maintain a balance between your needs and those of your in-laws. Of course, you should visit them and encourage your spouse to look in on your parents too. However, don’t think that you need to spend all your free time with the in-laws.
Raise the bar
If you have high standards and want to be treated well in a marriage, you will most likely end up getting a good deal. Plus, if you have high expectations of a good marriage then you improve your chances of actually having one. Yet this does not mean couples should have unrealistic standards. If you expect marriage to be just a bed of roses then you will be disappointed. However, by expecting imperfection, you will always be pleasantly surprised when you get more than you hoped for.
Physical contact in a relationship is healthy and has emotional benefits. Intimacy in a relationship improves the mood and promotes wellbeing, just by holding hands regularly you can show your affection for your spouse and provide comfort. Touching can stimulate the release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone also known as the ‘cuddle hormone’, which creates a sense of security. However, showering your partner with too much affection may give you pleasure, but may cause your other half to feel stifled. So, it’s all about paying attention to the emotional needs of your partner and sensing what they would like, rather than just pleasuring yourself.
It is crucial to be honest about one’s feelings in a relationship and any issues should be raised to your partner at once. Don’t harbour negative feelings, deal with them instead, giving the cold shoulder to your spouse will just make matters worse. Emotional intimacy is crucial and couples should share their feelings, such as fears and hopes for the future, to strengthen the bond between them.
Spice it up
Being in a dull routine marriage is bound to take its toll. Often couples are so obsessed with work they neglect devoting time to their marriages. It’s essential to have quality time together, maybe take a walk or watch a film together. Whether you cook up a favourite meal, or get each other thoughtful gifts, such gestures will spice up a marriage and lower the risk of falling into a rut. You might also want to try out new experiences, maybe take up a sport or read a history or religious book together; just try to do something new on a regular basis to improve your life.
Take a break
Do you have kids? It goes without saying that you love them, however taking a break from them at times is a must. Leaving them with their grandparents once in a while will not cause them to despair. Alone time without them will give your relationship a well-earned breather and time to focus on yourselves.
It is normal to carry stress from work into the home and to vent out frustration on your partner. Couples need to work out a system to cope with such stress, as it is an almost constant factor in our lives. For instance, take a walk together to talk about the day.